Pie
by Mrs.Kite
Summary: Terrible at Summaries...There's a new girl...boy that enters Greg's school and becomes BFFs with him...BOY this kid is one of a kind, especially when he starts to hang with Rodrick...WARNING, BROMANCE, GLEE, DRAG, & PIE! Plz read...Love you...
1. New GirlBoy?

**EKKKK HOPE YOU ENJOY VLAD AND HIS EVER LASTING ADVENTURES! Yup I edited dis as well *heart* And soon you shall meet his slutty... awesome twin Mandy made by yours truly Anika my sista soul for eva! Yah I bet u like my ers as a's...and Vlad's band too! **

**WARNING: GLEE, MAYBE idk yet SEX, Fluffly goodness, HOMO THINGS ; D not to homo though...idk yet XD, anddd DRAGGGG! YAY! **

**No shit I don't own Diary Of a Wimpy Kid only Vlad his band just not Mandy ;3 **

**NOW READDDDD! READDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD~~~~~~~~**

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><p>'An other regular day at school' Greg pitied himself as he was wondering through the empty halls.<p>

The lonely boy wondered why were the halls vacant, 'Did I get the cheese touch or an epidemic is starting,' his mind paused when Greg saw one kid (surprise) passed by coughing, 'or begun,' he finished thinking.

A minute later Greg's walking got interrupted by his attention from looking through a door window.

There was a huge crowd of school mates in the gym all huddled together.

The 7th grader was puzzled, so he and his curiosity went through the door and swam passed the crowd of students to see what they were so amazed at.

Almost to the front of the huddle Greg spotted his best friend, Rowley, and called him out.

The call got Rowley's attention and struggled pass the people to get close enough to Greg. "What's all of this?" Questioned Greg trying to get a close picture of what's happening.

"I heard there's a new student," Rowley answered.

"So," Greg said.

"Soooo this is the big appearance for this guy," his best friend explained looking kind of shock from the lack of Greg's knowledge...like Rowley has any, right...let's get back to the fic...

All of a sudden two girls in cheerleader outfits (both hot of course) stood next to each other with the opposite hand from the other girl's, on their hip as music begun.

It was a cheery beat, the song was called 'Say A Little Prayer For You' and of course a lot people knew where this was gonna go.

Expect for Greg.

When the beat started the two ladies admittedly shook their hips.

"What the-...what is this?" Greg asked.

"What!" Rowley shouted over the music, "you don't watch Glee...boyyyyy you need to get with the times, homey" he shook his head.

_"Say a little prayer for youuuuuu" _The two latinas sang while doing a move that was presenting an other cheerleader.

She swooned over to the front with her right hand on her chest, after the other girls danced their arms to present the leader.

When coming to the center of the crowd the cheerleader sang, _"A moment I wake up," _moving her arms up, so doing the background dancers with just one arm out.

_"Before I put on my makeup," _mimicking brushing their cheeks with their hand holding an imaginary mirror as the girls in the back repeated the sung word 'makeup'.

_ "I say a little prayer for youuuuu"_

The cheerleaders were kickass with the dance, just like the cheerios!

As well for the dancing and lip syncing the ladies were hot, but the middle one was the hottest.

Beautiful locks of gold were up into both sides which made pigtails, and her gorgeous structured face with only the forehead covered by bangs, so pretty she doesn't even have make up on. Well her eyebrows were darker, but still looked fierce.

Greg was still in love with Holly either way...but it's not bad to think other girls are sexy...hey he did learn a lot from Rodrick.

The only thing was that the leader of the dance was, kinda, boobieless...flat chested.

Still, the most bombing part was when she lipped the words _"While combing my hair now," _she was rolling her hips in circular motion and trust the guys, that looked...well in guy talk it would be something like this...oh yeahhhhhhh, or fuck yeahhhh or I'd tap that, and many more! XD...

Then Greg got back to reality when the music boomed the lyrics,

_"__Forever, forever, you'll stay in my heart _

_ and I will love you!" _

while flinging one arm up as the other hand is on their hip and kicking their leg up. The cheerleaders continue to do the skit...

_"Forever, and ever, we never will part  
>Oh, how I love you<br>Together, together, that's how it must be  
>To live without you" <em>

And finished with, _"Would only mean heartbreak for meeeee," _the two girls switched spots by swirling in front of the leader to go on each of her sides as the music ended.

All posing fiercely with a smirk on their faces especially the head cheerleader.

Everyone hooted and jeered at the new student and for the usage of Glee.

The new girl laughed and high fived other school mates.

"Whow, she's already popular?" Greg said in astonishment.

'Maybe if I play nice with her maybe _I'll _be popular!' he thought to himself and seeing it as a great plan for shooting up his popularity.

So Greg made his first move by speeding up to her.

"Hi, I'm Greg Heffley!" He sprung his hand out waiting for the girl to shake his hand.

The girl turned to Greg and looked down to him, since the new girl was like 5 inches taller than him.

"Oh, hi little dude," she responded...wait...she?

Was it that Greg hadn't cleaned his ears an over a month or this chick sounded kinda like a guy. The she male shook his hand while Greg stood silent.

"What? Dick in your mouth?" He/She said with a grin as the people in the background laughed. "Well, since you don't want to talk to me, dude, Imma go change, see yah," the new student waved and then waved to the others.

Greg was about to puke, but wait, people still liked him or her.

Did they already know that the new kid was a guy? Or girl.

He has seen those types of men before, like they dress up as girls...there's a TV show about it...'was it Drag Race of something' he tried to remember and then gave up, he just watched an episode with his mom once.

xxxxx

After everyone left the gym not wanting to be late to their next class Greg was still standing in the empty room shocked. Even Rowley had to leave him.

The still boy's body jolted to the sound of footsteps.

If it was the gym teacher he didn't want to get trouble so his first instinct was to hide.

All was near him was a trash can so he jumped in it.

In the dark container it smelled like ass, 'I think I'm sitting on a doughnut,' Greg thought, looking down for no reason since it was pitch black.

He heard the steps coming closer and closer until the top of the can flung off.

Greg shield his eyes from the light, but looked up and saw a familiar face staring down.

"Are you going to finish that?" The familiar voice remarked and noticing the squished doughnut underneath him.

The 7th grader sighed and let the other boy help him out.

"Why were you just in there" the guy asked, "I thought you were the gym teacher," Greg said, being embarrassed.

"Are you that girl...guy, that was just dancing?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing," Greg shook his head.

The new kid did look sort of the same as he was dressed as a girl.

Same emerald hooded lid eyes, exact freckles scattered all over his cheeks and nose, same diamond shaped face, and of course same body...

I don't think it's gay for Greg to think that he was hot dressed as a chick...just my opinion...idk it happened to me before with a girl cuz I thought she was a guy until I saw boobies, OK ENOUGH ABOUT ME GEEZ...

All the same except for his hair, instead of golden colored locks he had auburn colored razor blade cut hair.

Iinstead of long wavy hair back into pig tails his was straight and half way down to his neck. Full bangs to side bangs and untainted glossy lips to snake bites.

The 8th grader took a glimpse of Greg's behind and LOLed.

"Shut up!" he yelled at the older teen.

"I-I'm sorry it just...you shit your pants!" He burst out laughing, almost crying.

Greg rolled out and stormed out, making his way to the double doors when the new kid shouted. "WAIT!" Running up to Greg he needed to introduce himself, "I never got to tell you my name. I'm Vlad Olsen," he said proudly.

"Rad name right," he nudged Greg.

"I-I guess?" he shrugged.

Vlad chuckled, "your cool dude," and when that phrase hit Greg's ears his smile went from ear to ear.

'If a popular person thinks I'm cool then wait until the whole school get a load of me out of him...or her,' he pondered excitedly.

"We should head to class, bro," said Vlad.

"I don't want to get held back again," he added as he was about to walk on.

"W-w-wait, you got held back?" Greg halted Vlad.

"Yeah? I'm suppost to be a freshman, butttttt, I got held back," He explained,

"Why did you get held back?"

"I think because on most of my work I did I just wrote pie,"

"Pie?"

"Pie,"

"Pie?"

"Yeah...Pie,"

"Let's just go, Vlad," Greg sighed for giving up, as they were about to walk out the door for the last time, but Vlad grabbed the back of his friend's collar and stopped him.

"Hold up dude," he pulled his hoodie over his head, revealing his dark side of the moon t-shirt and tied it on Greg's waist so it could hide the chocolate stain on the back side of his pants.

"Thanks," Greg said and looked up to his new friend, "no prob," Vlad replied.

The two knuckle bumped and finally left the gymnasium.

xxxxx

Days passed and everyone was talking about Vlad Olsen...

How he was so cute or hot or any other flattering comment about his looks, or oh how he was so awesome doing that dance, and sometimes wished that he was a real chick.

Even though Greg and Vlad were in different grades they still bonded and eventually Vlad meet Rowley and connected greatly for their love of Glee and other things...but mainly Glee.

Now the three were hanging out after school or if Vlad would skip a class or two just to hang with them during lunch or P.E.

During one of those classes he skipped, Vlad mentioned to Greg and Rowley about his band he just started with his twin sister and his other friends.

"Do you guys have a name yet!" Rowley exclaimed.

"Well, personally, I love the name, but my sis isn't to big on it...maybe because I came up with it, but here we go," he paused with anticipation as the two kids eyes widen.

"The Pussy Police!" were the words that sprung out of the cool kid's mouth.

"Pussy Police?" Greg repeated.

"Yeah isn't that rad!" Vlad said excitedly with a huge grin painted on his face.

"What's...a pussy?" Rowley asked, both child had a puzzled expression.

Vlad face palmed himself, "forgot...you guys are in 7th grade, when I was your age I knew what that was," he said, "but if you don't know I'll say, just don't spread it around or at least don't say I told ya'll." explained the teen of the three, then the younger two nodded.

He ducked his head, leveling himself to his friends and whispered, "vagina...you know the girl's private."

The boys had different reactions.

Greg was completely disgusted by his facial expression and Rowley was about to laugh his ass off.

"Sweet!" the chubby boy yelled and high fived his older friend.

"I bet she's just jealous because she couldn't think of that even though she has one!" Rowley said.

"Good one bro!...Come on Greg you were gonna know sooner or later." He teased as he gave Greg a playful noggy. The kid pulled back to fix his hair.

"Yeah I know, but that's nasty...then again I think i've heard that word a couple of times from Rodrick and his friends."

**FLASH BACK!**

"_**Man last night I fucked this girl after our concert and she was so fucking tight!" One of Rodrick's band members said. **_

_** Greg was just sitting on his brother's drummer seat, bored, while Rodrick and his band hung out. Rodrick laughed, "She didn't rip your dick off right?"**_

_** "Why don't you check?" Greg added in, looking as innocent as possible to these teenage apes. **_

_** All eyes were on him in awkward silence...then again started busting up. "Hey, I'll check it for you," Chris joked, grabbing the band member's rim of his skinny jeans as the assaulted teen smacked his hands away. **_

_** All laughing, Rodrick punched the singer in the shoulder, "faggot," he insulted, but jokingly.**_

Greg finally snapped back.

"Rodrick? The fuck is he?" Vlad asked, taking one of Rowley's gummy worms.

"Greg's stupid older brother," Rowley said, munching away on a couple sour worms.

"Yeah," Greg agreed, "he so annoying, he doesn't even let me go in his room."

Pausing from sucking the sour crystals away from the worm, "hey, I _have _to share a room with my twin sister...SISTER!...Especially sharing a bathroom, y-you know how many tampons, bloody one, in the trash can a month," he paused, "least' I know when to stay away from her...but that's not all, so be thankful," Vlad finished and so his gummy worm.

"I peed on him once," Greg said, his face dumb struck, both Rowley and Vlad faced him like 'wtf'.

Then of course out of no where, "hey, is your sister hot?" Rowley asked. Vlad answered back with one word "extremely".

xxxxx

The end of that following day when everyone was dismissed, Rowley, Greg, and Vlad walked out of the school in a pack, like every other day.

As walking out the school and mostly going anywhere Vlad would get the occasional 'hi' or 'hey Vlad' or something similar, but Holly Hill full frontal walked right in front of the popular teen.

"Am I going home with you today?" Holly asked Vlad, and Greg's heart stopped as his knees started to shake, literally like you can see them wobble.

"How the fuck should I know?" Sassed the oldest out of them all.

Then the unexpected happened, Holly Hill smacked the taller teen's head sideways.

"Pimp slap," Rowley awed the scene mostly, but his friend was worried, his thoughts were all over the place thinking that Holly and Vlad were going out or something.

"You need to get rid of your sailor mouth!" Holly wagged her finger.

"O-okay, jeez, let me call my dad. Just hold on," Vlad stuttered and got his blackberry pearl that had a little charm shaped as a bunny head hanging off of it.

Making the phone call, Rowley broke the ice, "why do you need to go home with Vlad?"

She turned to the other two and smiled, "my dad did mention me going over my uncle's house today, but we just need to make sure." she explained.

"Vlad's your uncle?" Rowley blurted out, then she started laughing.

'So cute' Greg thought and blushed.

"No, no, he's my cousin!" she said still laughing.

Both eyes widened with astonishment.

'Maybe I can go over Vlad's house while she's over!' Greg smiled.

"Actually grandpa is picking us up," Vlad said putting his phone back in his sweater pocket. Holly grabbed her cousin's hand, "then we'll wait for grandpa, silly."

Vlad's cheeks turned a shade of red, embarrassed of his hand being held in public and rolled his eyes.

Greg thought he was so lucky, but then again that was her cousin, they weren't in Kentucky or anything like that.

All of a sudden a big dirty van swerved around the corner of the street and halted in front of the sidewalk with just on wheel parked on it.

The van had a big label on it that read, Loded Dipers and Greg's whole world turned upside down.

All eyes turned to the van when the wannabe rocker stepped out of the van and walked around it to search for his little brother.

Rodrick stomped onto school property with his dock martins making his way to his brother, he did not look happy.

Vlad caught the sight of this so called bad boy and pulled away from Holly's hand retrieving both hands in his jean pockets.

Greg's older brother approached the group, his eye stabbing into his soul like he could feel it...strangely Greg did.

"Get in the fucking van, Greg," Rodrick ordered and Vlad's heart stopped (not literally :/).

Greg felt so humiliated, 'now Vlad wouldn't think I'm as cool anymore...thanks Rodrick,' he thought to himself, but then figured to act tough.

"Why are you here," Rodrick's little brother sassed, "because I love you," he said and wrapped his arm around him tightly, "also for more mom bucks,moron."

Rodrick's head turned to his brother's friends, especially at Vlad, "do I know you?" pointing at the skate and was responded by shaking his head 'no'.

"Huh, I swear I've seen you before...did I have sex with you?" Rodrick suggested.

Everyone else was horrid except for Rodrick and Vlad.

"No, I would recall you fucking me," he blushed.

The oldest teen chuckled, "yeah, I don't sex up dudes. Sorry for the mistake," he said and turned around with Greg still under his grasp leaving to the van.

"Now we're going to my friend's house for a while so tell mom there was a lot traffic, and if you don't you're head is gonna have a little meeting with the toilet."

You could hear Rodrick saying in the distance.

Without paying attention Rowley said his goodbyes to Holly and left, so now just the two cousins and one of them still blushing.

Holly again grabbing Vlad's hand, "come on, I think grandpa is here," she informed and pulled her cousin to their grandfather's car.

Vlad still thinking about Greg's older brother...what Rodrick said.

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><p><strong>OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READINGGGGGGGGGGGG...WUV YOU...especially Anika *growls* <strong>


	2. Project!

**YAY HALLELOOOO! I re-did the chappy! It's still the same just for the Patty part...and I want Angie to be in this fic! SO SUCK IT (but not in a bad way ^_^) sooo re-read away my children...**

**Also I only own Vlad and Peter Peters XD and Smells like teen spirit rightfully belongs to Nirvana and Major Tom belongs to Tom Schilling...READ NOW PLZ *huggies* **

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><p>"Now class, your projects will be due on October 13th ." The science teacher remark.<p>

Everyone gasped and one student went, "what project?" he exclaimed.

After the teacher wrote on the board the due date for the class project, he informed them what was the project about.

Apparently the project is that they have to make a model of the planets in they solar system, including Pluto.

Greg banged his head on the desk, 'how the heck can I do _that _in a week...and by myself!' he screamed in his mind.

"Their is a catch to this kids." Greg's ears perked up as his teacher continued, "you can work with a partner, but if you want to receive extra credit of 100 points you'll have to do it all by yourself, and with lovely quality as well." The science teacher finished.

Greg was so into doing the project by himself because he _needed _the points since he was about to fail science.

Then the 7th grader had the perfect idea, you could almost see the light bulb over his head. 'Maybe...maybe someone _could _help me with it that's not in my class...VLAD...ok maybe not the smartest kid since he got held back, but I mean it's just making a model of all the planets.'

"Pshhhhhhhhhhtttt!, Greg, wanna be partners!" Rowley whispered loudly...not really a whisper, but he tried.

His friend just shook his head and Rowley frowned. He mouthed the words 'why', Greg replied mouthing the words 'failing, science,' but Rowley didn't get it so he mouthed 'what?'

Then Greg decided to write it bold caps with marker on a sheet of loose leaf. He passed the folded paper right next to the person sitting on the left and whispered to pass it to Rowley.

The kid was about to pass it to Rowley until the old science teacher caught him red handed. "Mr. Peters what is in your hand there?" He snatched the paper away and read it, "failing science? Well now you will, for this reason!" the teacher protested as the kid trembled about to say who's note was it, but was interrupted by the old man. Due to the fact that he didn't want to hear it.

He ripped the paper into shreds in threw it in his waste basket and begun teaching again.

When facing the board the kid, so called Peter Peters (LOL right?), turned his face to Greg, getting his attention, Peter pointed at him then after, pounded his fist into his palm.

This making the smaller kid gulp, 'I'm guessing he wants to fight me,' he thought, starting to shake visibly.

After class, in the hallway, Peter Peters and his gang behind him called after Greg, causing him to face the taller boy, so did Rowley. "Was I talking to you to fatso?" the bully taunted Rowley in his bad boy tone.

When the insult was given Rowley just turned around and left to go to class, "see ya' Greg," he quickly stated and zoomed out of sight.

The taller kid started pounding his fist again into his palm, smirking at the defenseless young boy backing up until his back slams the wall.

Now he gang cornering him.

From Greg's peripheral vision there was a figure running toward him.

"This is what you get for getting me in trouble faggot!" Peter raised his voice.

The first time Greg took a blow to the face was today, this minute, this second.

When Greg slid slowly against the wall onto the floor, he heard running footsteps.

A familiar voice rung in Greg's ear, but didn't pay attention to what the person was saying. Opening his eyes, the gang ran away and the person turned to him.

The person was Vlad, as he knelt in front of Greg. Vlad spoke out first, "are you ok?" he asked, looking really concerned. "V-Vlad?" stuttered Greg, blood shedding from his nose and onto his lips.

"Shit, fucking assholes, I told them to fuck off...come on let's go to the bathroom," Vlad got up , lend his friend a helping hand and both headed for the boys bathroom.

There, the light auburn haired boy soaked the paper towel while Greg was sitting on the edge of the sink next to him.

When the towel was drowned in warm water Vlad stood front of Greg and lightly dabbed the folded towel on the younger boy's lips to wipe the blood off. Doing so above his lips now Vlad with his spare hand he pinched Greg's top of his nose and tilted his head upwards a bit.

After a minute Greg finally spoke out, "what were you doing looking for me, anyways?" "Oh," said Vlad, "well, I lost my social studies book so I was going to ask you if I can borrow yours, you know, since you don't have your social studies class during mine," he finished.

"Ahhhhh, we're in different grades, Vlad..."

"So?"

"It wouldn't work out because if we're both different grade it means we have different books,"

"tsk, maybe not for social studies."

"No, every book is different from yours," Greg explained

"Shit."

xxxxx

During lunch, once again Vlad skipped his class, for like probably the 20th time. Since Vlad joined Greg and Rowley at their table all the popular kids wanted to sit with them.

Today Brice was sitting with them, including two of his following girls.

"Hey Vlad I forgot to mention this to you," Greg said, alerting the oldest teen from his playboy that he was ogoloying over. "Yeah lil' bro," he mumbled due to the fact he was chewing on a straw. "Can you help me on my science project," Greg said nervously, because he didn't want to mention the thing about him taking all the credit since he thought Vlad wouldn't want to be his partner if Greg couldn't say that Vlad helped him.

"That's why you didn't want to be my partner," Rowley blurted out, spitting some bits of hamburger on Greg.

Greg now getting a napkin to clean his infested face.

"Sorry," Rowley commented.

"I'll do it, it's cool," Vlad said with a sly grin on his face looking into the magazine once again. Greg smiled, with all his teeth showing, "thanks!"

Later at lunch Angie was passing by, but caught her eyes on Vlad and stopped.

"Is this the new cool place to eat now?" she huffed, blushing when Vlad looked up at her, his lip piercings glistening from the sunshine coming through the window.

The standing girl tucked her pink streak behind her ear as her face was all like a strawberry now.

Vlad shrugging at her question, then patted the empty set next to him, "why don't you join us since we're sooooo popular," he grinned, making Greg grit his teeth since he did not have an interest of Angie.

Of course Rowley had to butt in, "except for Brice, you know having a nice butt and all does wonders for reputations."

Everyone now staring at Rowley, a silence drifted pass the kids.

"B-but it's not like you don't have bad butt yourself, Angie," the chubby boy added, embarrassing himself even more.

Angie blushed even more, not because of Rowley's impression. It was because of Vlad, so it was kind of obvious that she liked him.

Still, what girl didn't.

Some just liked his looks and wanted to just make out with him or fuck him...some wanted to be his friend...but Angie's heart beats really fast when she was around him or even look at him from a distance.

She really liked him for his attitude of not caring what people think, the thing was that it made them wanting to be friends with him more.

Also he was a nice guy, even though he _was _perverted, but he didn't know better...come on he did get held back and again she did think he was super hot too...it wasn't the main thing though like for other girls!

"I-I have to go, lunch is almost over," Angie quickly said and raced away from Vlad and the others.

Greg exhaled loudly, revealed she left so he could just hang out with Vlad.

xxxxx

After school Vlad and Greg were standing together talking about the project, "are you sure you can come over?" Greg asked, squinting his eyes for the sun standing behind his taller friend. "Psht, yeah, no biggie," Vlad said and pulled out his phone to text his other friends or something, Greg wasn't to sure.

You could hear the tiers of Rodrick's van halt in front of this pick up zone, adding to the terrible parking.

Greg noticeably exhaled as he saw his brother's van, "come on Vlad, my brother's here" he said, not sounding pleased.

Vlad's cheeks reaction for the memory of what Rodrick said to him, turned red. He gulped and proceed to walk with his friend to the van.

Greg hopped in the van, instead Vlad slowly stepped in and when Rodrick saw him in his rear view window.

He turned, noticing an other person, "who's this?" his younger brother rolled his eyes.

"Uhh remember this is Vlad, my friend and he's coming over."

Vlad looked down to his red high tops,"you thought you fucked me," he said shyly.

He laughed, "oh yeah! Sorry man...so why is he coming over?"

His stare to Greg now, "for a project," he said, starting to shake.

"Ah, there's no place to sit down?" Asked Vlad.

"And?" Rodrick responded.

"So where are we gonna sit?"

Rodrick shrugged at the red head, "the floor?"

He swished forward and sighed of annoyance, "so now we have to get fucking supplies, am I right?" he's eyes angry staring at his brother from the rear view mirror and Greg looking back, but his eyes filled with fear. "No shit," Vlad spoke up, sitting straighter then before. "Okay," the oldest simply said, shrugging, "more money for me."

On the way to the store, some how Vlad mercilessly was in the front seat next to Rodrick head banging to 'Smells Like Teen Spirit.'

Leaving Greg holding the back of the front seat, holding on to dear life. Due to his brother's horrible driving.

'What the heck?' Greg thought to himself, 'what makes Vlad so special...is it because he's my friend...no he doesn't do that to Rowley...is it because he looks like a chick? No, not without his wig and cheer outfit...maybe because he thought he did it with him so he's making it up to him.'

Stopping at Target, in the van Vlad and Rodrick repeating (more like shouting) the verse to 'Major Tom,' "FOUR, THREE, TWO TWO, ONE! EARTH BELO-" Greg clicked the radio off, both Rodrick and Vlad moaning for the loss of music.

"Let's go," Greg said angrily and then getting out of the van first.

Vlad frowned at his best friend's reaction, 'did I do something not rad?' he thought to himself, climbing out of the vehicle.

In the store the teens were in the art isle, the two oldest by the paint and the youngest by the drawing pads, glancing at the others while pretending to look for something.

Both talking constantly, in contact.

Greg was actually jealous, not at Vlad, but at Rodrick.

Sure Vlad and Greg got along awesomely and hung out mostly all the time at school, at first Greg of course he just wanted to be popular by befriending the new kid, but eventually forgetting about it and just enjoying to quality time with his new best friend.

'Now Vlad will want to hang out with Rodrick the whole time and forget about the project...about me,' thought Greg, being a bit paranoid.

"I think 'Stairway to Heaven' is over rated," commented Rodrick,

"I guess, but it's gotta kick ass guitar solo," Vlad replied, picking out a few tubes of paint for the project. Looking over to his right to see his partner by himself at the end of the isle, made him feel guilty.

"Hey, is Greg alright," turning his attention to Rodrick

"Don't know, don't care," his stare somewhere else, "are you going to be done soon so we get out of here?"

Exhaling loudly, Vlad walked over to Greg with the shopping cart filled with just paint and a hot glue gun, "So, where can we find the stirafome balls?" interrupted the smaller boy's silence. "I don't know," muttered Greg, not looking up at his friend. "What's biting your dick?" asked Vlad,

"Look, I'm not the jealous type, but are you just going to talk to Rodrick all day or are you going to help with the shopping?"

"Calm down little dude, so what if I talk to Rodrick, he's kinda cool...with music and all, like I'll be his best friend, plus he's mean to you and that's not cool,"

smiled Vlad, the Greg returning it back up to him.

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><p><strong>THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME OUT YOUR LIFE TO READ THIS *heart* LUV YOU ALLS...Hey how the fuck to you spell stirafome? LOL I'm such a bad writer...well speller...if you show me how I'll give u an internet Oreo :3 <strong>


	3. Mandy

**HI! How r u...so the only thing I changed was the twins' height XD Vlad is much shorter than Mandy...and also the paragraphs...BUT YOU R MORE THAN WELCOME TO READ IT TWICE or If you haven't read it THEN PLZ DO~~! I WUVS YOU AND I WISH YOU GUYS THE BEST...**

**The only thing I own is Vlad and his whore...I MEANT...his lovely mother ^_^'''''...Annie owns Mandy...and "Queen owns Somebody To Love"...and I you all know I don't own Diary Of a Wimpy Kid.**

**SO READ ON! READ ON! lol you know like "Dream On"...nm sorry from keeping you from reading...you've probably skipped this by now...LOVE YOU AGAIN!**

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><p>After running the errand for the project, Rodrick dropped the two off at his house and left to go out, (no shit).<p>

Greg's mother was interested, in an exciting way, in this new character brought into their home. Vlad secretly stated to Greg while his mom was off getting his baby brother, that she was a milf. Again the 7th grader was confused, but went along with it by nodding, making Vlad laugh.

It made him laugh even harder when he found out that Manny called Greg 'bubby'.

Escaping to his room, they scattered all the supplies onto his bed getting them situated.

"Ah, shit, forgot the board," Vlad said, then chuckled to himself, "I don't know how can we miss that big ass board?" he included.

Greg shrugged and suggested to go downstairs since he wanted something to drink anyways.

Downstairs, Vlad playing with Manny as Greg was getting him and himself some lemonade. Pouring the pink liquid into the two glasses, Greg heard the door fling open.

Not hearing one pair of footsteps, but two, the other pair he heard were heels.

His brother's voice laughing while a girl was giggling.

Greg spilled the liter of raspberry lemonade when he saw what girl his brother has brought home.

On the kitchen floor was where Vlad and Manny were playing, the baby now with Vlad's beanie on, gazed up to Rodrick and his new girl.

"Mandy?" Vlad questioned, his hair mostly messy due to the rough housing with Manny.

The girl turned her head away from the boy on the floor, her cheeks flustered with anger.

"You know her?" said Greg, taking out the paper towels to clean up the spill.

"First of all you can't just clean that with paper towels, you need spray to, dumb ass."

Rodrick said, "and yeah, do you know him?" he asked looking at the girl, Mandy.

"Can't you tell we're twins? I mean, I know she's a girl and I'm a boy, I've checked, but it's not that unnoticeable," said Vlad.

It's true you _could _tell that they're twins.

Her deep set green eyes matches his, and her light neutral skin tone.

Same face and bone structure (okay maybe a little more girly) with the similar body stature, like the girl version of Vlad's body.

Freckles would count, but she covers them up with her makeup as the rest of her face.

Also for her hair, but you could clearly tell she dyed it black.

Funny thing is Mandy was taller then her brother. Making  
>Vlad 5'7 in a half and Mandy 5'9.<p>

"Ohhhhhhh, so that's why I thought I fucked you!," Rodrick blurted out.

Ignoring his comment Mandy bite her painted lips hard, tasting the purple and blood, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Her voice boomed as Greg quickly took his little brother into an other room, avoiding the drama.

Swaying his shoulders like a child Vlad said, "workin' on a project."

Her violet heel stomped on the tile furiously, "stop acting like a child!" she yelled, "go home!" she pointed out the door.

"Your not the boss of me!"

"Yes I am since I'm older!" she argued back,

"BY LIKE TWO MINUTES!" Holding up two finger up to his twin. His voice clearly at max level now.

Mandy was obviously tired of her brother's attitude, "did you even ask mom?" she pointed out. "Yeah...okay no, but who cares?" he replied.

The punk looking girl grabbed Vlad by the hand and forcefully pulled him out of the kitchen, while he was struggling.

"The fuck Mandy, your not my mom!"

"Well I'm sure as hell playing the part of it!" Mandy said, now yelling at him.

Silence.

Mandy tucked her choppy piece of hair behind her ear and then crossed her arms, "okay, fine, but I warned you, faggot," she hissed and walked back to Rodrick.

He forcefully swung his arm around her, "can you make out now?" she asked, just needing to relive her stress.

"Fuck yeah," he responded in a blink of an eye.

The two walked to Rodrick's room as Vlad yelled out,"Y-you better just be making out unless you want a blood bath! YEAH! YOUR LUCKY YOU DON'T GOTTA LIVE WITH THAT FOR THIS TIME OF THE MONTH!"

After all that, Vlad was left panting...all alone, now looking for Greg.

xxxxx

Up in Greg's room, painting the planets, Vlad painting Uranus (go figure) and Greg painting Jupiter.

"Ey, there's gonna be a Halloween party like in a couple of weeks, that my friend from high school is throwing and thinking since your like my best friend you can come, cause' I think peoples only 17 and up, you know," Vlad explained.

"Aren't you 15?"

"Yeah, but I'm cool so I can go," said the older teen, flatly.

"Can Rowley come?"

"No shit! I already told him," he laughed.

At that point Greg didn't give two shits that Vlad told Rowley first, he just was excited to go to his very first teenage party...and it's a Halloween one too! So a bunch of girls dressing in short tight dresses.

When all the planets were painted Greg stated something that he shouldn't.

"Ha, it's kind of funny how you and your sister come to my house without knowing, huh?"

He said, trying to be funny, but as the result by Vlad's expression, he wasn't at all.

"Sorry," the younger boy felt guilty.

Vlad sighed, "it's cool, she's a bitch anyways."

"A hot one."

"Indeed."

6:41 P.M. Was the time and Vlad decided to head off since they were almost done with the model. All they need to do was label and hang them.

"See yah, little dude," he said, putting on his hoodie and beanie.

"Thanks again, Vlad" Greg smiled, "anytime, bro," said the red head as he flung the book bag over one shoulder.

"Thanks for letting me come by, Mr. and Ms. H," Vlad said and winked at Greg's mom.

She giggled as her husband looked puzzled.

The two friends knuckle touched and Vlad proceeded to head out the door, slipping on his all stars, not really putting them on.

Hearing Mandy's voice saying bye and then a smooch, Vlad hurried out the door, causing it to slam.

The twin's heels clicked against the wooden floor.

She stopped in front of the parents, "Thank you Mrs. and Mr. Heffley for letting me come over," said Mandy, pursing her lips while she smiled.

"Your so welcome," cheered Mrs. Heffley.

"Ahhh, young girls these day," awed Mr. Heffley, then his wife gave him a 'wtf' look.

xxxxx

In the Olsen residents, Vlad locked himself in 'their' room.

A moment later he heard a hard knocks hitting on the door. He rose from his clothes cluttered bed to unlocked the door.

What appeared at the other side of the door was a Brazilian woman.

She was about Vlad's height, but maybe 1 inch shorter.

Long dark curly hair pasted into a bun. The only thing the two truly had in common were their emerald shaped eyes.

The woman took the cigarette out of her mouth and blow a hurricane of smoke in the teens face. "Where was you today, Maurice?" She asked in her thick Brazilian accent.

Vlad's grip was still on the door knob and his eyes fixed on the light fixture attached to the ceiling, left from the woman.

Biting the right side of his lip, he could feel his piercing rub against his upper lip. Mandy took part of the bad habit, too.

His heart was threatening to jump out from this rib cage.

Fear clouded his eyes.

"P-please don't call m-me that, mama," his gaze still away from her.

Suddenly his mother slammed her hand on the side of the doorway, the reaction was fright from Vlad. "Look at me!" she yelled after her impact.

His two pupils in the sea of green willed to swim over to his mother's direction.

"Tell me, where was you" her tone reasonable at the second.

"At my friend's house," he said, quietly.

"falam mais alto!" screamed the adult.

Vlad flinched at the volume change and whimpered what he said before.

For that very moment, and when ever _this_ happened, Vlad just wanted his sister with him.

To protect him as she always does.

No matter how much he neglected his bitchy sister, he always liked how she cooed over him. He tries to pretend he's the independent type, just in front of others...

But really, he just needs somebody to love.

* * *

><p><strong>HOLY SHIT A SONG REFFERENCE! (claps)<strong>

**AGAIN Thank you for READING~! *heart* Poor Vlad...But Rodrick is gonna get LUCKAYYYY...maybe...Mandy _IS _hard to get...Thanks to Anika we have here ; ) right my sista!**


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